the slacker returns

you know, sometimes i forget i even have a blog. huh.

i got a comment (omg, i never get comments!) on my post-nano entry and i thought, hey, it's been a while.

like 3 months. geesh.

i think it pretty much took me all of february and march to get back into the swing of everyday life. in feb. i committed to doing 750words.com every day, and i did it, and i haven't been back since. oops, i think i killed my initiative on that.

on the plus side, regular writing is happening occasionally. i still get the odd good idea for my 2009 nano*, which goes into a file and sits for months until i get another good idea. it's slow going. i've totally accepted that it will be a major re-write. i'm actually excited about that. i just have no attention span.

The 20k word summer project (i say these things like anyone is reading, never mind actually keeping track of the shit i do) has re-emerged. a few months ago i started re-writing it and then for no good reason i stopped. i think i lost conviction in my plot. this happens to me all the time- i start to worry that it doesn't make sense, or it's just not good enough, and rather than keep writing to see what happens, i give up. i need to remember not to keep doing that. because when i go back (like i did with this project) i usually realize that it's not actually that bad. i'm still stalling out on it, but the intention to work on it is there. that counts, right**

i still have no illusions that i'll ever be a published writer. ok, well, that's not entirely fair. i mean, i have a short published in an anthology, and another (most likely) this year (and i'm co-editing that anthology, which is pretty cool, and a topic for another day). but a book with my name (and only my name) on the cover? yeah, it's not looking likely. and i'm still okay with that. because for me, writing is more about proving that i have ideas in my head that are worth writing, and that i can get them from brain to page with my meaning and intentions intact. once i master that, i can worry about what everyone else thinks.


*the 2010 nano is in the junkyard, waiting to be scrapped for parts. it was never meant to be, i guess.

**it totally doesn't. that's just an excuse. i'm lazy and unmotivated, that's the honest truth of it.